Day 7: The Mud Risual

The seas are incredibly calm now - either because the Pacific Ocean is so much deeper or because we are barely moving (14 kts) as we head to Costa Rica.

As we are out to sea, Gerry & I decided to try something wilder and crazier than trivia (since we weren’t doing too well there anyway) and opted for “The Mud Risual” (no that’s not a misspelling) in the Lotus Spa.

Now I know that I’ve explained the “Thermal Suite” but I failed to mention that in order to be able to purchase this package you must first take a little tour of the entire Lotus Spa and see all that they have to offer. It is the typical assortment of massage (pronounced “MA sawge”), facials, beauty salon, etc. But they have two items that were particularly unique.

First this lovely young girl explained her specialty: Ionic-therapy. She starts off by listing all the things that this can be used for (anything from muscle toning to weight loss to improving international relationships) and that you can lose anywhere from 3-8 INCHES with just one procedure (but of course she recommends many, many more) and I’m already thinking I want to sign Gerry up and see if he can really lose 8” at his waist but then I spy her “equipment” station. There are dozens of wires and electrodes and I start looking around to see if there is a tall Indian in the corner passing out sticks of Juicyfruit. Okay, we’ll have to think some more about this one…

Then our hostess/guide asks me rather conspiratorily if I’ve ever heard of a “Seaweed Wrap” and I shake my head as I’m already beginning to conjure a visual image of this process. I’m wondering where would one get nouri that large? She takes us into a room and hands us a bowl of what appears to be The Barefoot Contessa’s Green Goddess Dressing (I swear I saw this list on the evening’s dinner menu). This is apparently the “seaweed” goop that they smear on you and then (and here my imagination went into hyper drive!) they wrap you in a MYLAR sheet! I’m thinking how big is this sheet? Because twin size isn’t going to do it…I’d want at least queen size and then I’m thinking…a strong wind and I become next year’s entry in the Macy’s Thanksgiving Day Parade! No thanks!

But the one that intrigued us and so we opted to try today was the “Mud Risual” - it’s this room for couples where you can apply various creams, muds, etc. designed to exfoliate your skin and remove toxins. Okay whatever. They told us to arrive a bit early so they could explain the procedure and what order we should apply things because then we are basically locked in this room for an hour. We arrive and are given perhaps a 15 SECOND indoctrination - that’s it and she leaves, locking not one but two doors so that everyone will know we are here.

Naturally, we promptly forgot everything she told us and just started applying random things and then we were to go into the steam room for 10 minutes (it was on a timer she said…she failed to mention that the timer was set for 20 MINUTES). I won’t go into all the details but the entire thing reminded me a lot of the scene in “Future World” with the Russian general and his wife in the Roman Baths.

Okay - fast forward and our hour is up. We are (we think…I mean we’re not really good at this) properly exfoliated, showered and dressed and ready to vacate the premises. And that’s when it got really fun. Every other doorknob on every other door on this ship is exactly the same and we’re pretty good by now at getting thru doors. This one has a strange handle and a lock knob and we’re frantically trying to get out. Gerry’s got really strong hands and now I’m starting to panic that he’s going to wind up with the handle in hand and us stuck in there until somebody else wants in (which probably won’t even happen this cruise)! Banging on the door won’t really help since there are two doors and nobody’s going to hear anything thru the outer door. Why they not think of putting a phone in here? Or an intercom? Just as Gerry is seriously considering breaking the door on purpose we start looking around the place. Up above the door there is a button “door release” (15 seconds to explain all the creams and goops and she didn’t think to maybe let us know how the heck to get out of here?). Free at last, free at last!

We decided that was probably enough excitement for the day (exfoliation and exhilaration in one swoop) and opted for some reading in our cabin. Walking across the deck we were surprised to see nobody out and about and realized that we were traveling thru a bit of a rain squall - the first of our trip.

Formal night again and we chose to eat in the Bayou restaurant, followed by “romantic movie trivia” (I am determined to get a luggage tag!) and then Billy Vader (a really funny guy!)

Tomorrow: the jungles of Costa Rica!

• Terri’s Travel Tip: Don’t dismiss an Alaska cruise because it doesn’t enjoy the warm weather of a Caribbean cruise! It has advantages that can’t be overstated - on an Alaskan cruise one sight you will never see (or have to endure) is that of a 65-year-old “walking carpet” who has beached himself on a lounge chair near the pool wearing what I can only guess is his 4-year-old grandson’s Speedo suit, hitching it up at the thigh so he can get a bit more sun. YUK!
  
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